Re-Imagining Return of the Jedi

So, as I mentioned, my good pal, Todd, and I debated the Empire Strikes Back issue as it was raised in the blastr article the quoted Joss Whedon's opinion about the ending of that fine film. The case I made was featured in the previous post. Check it out if you haven't read it yet. Todd had good reasons for siding with Whedon on some points, while agreeing with me on others. (And he made sure to note he was wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with Imperial Walkers on Hoth. He digs Empire, too. Don't you worry.)

But one of his points spun us off in a new direction. He said that he felt the character of Han Solo had changed for the worse. He used the phrase, "the unscoundreling of Solo." (I love that.) I think we all know that happened. In Star Wars he was a wiseass skeptic who always shot first and when he joined a cause, well, he was only in it for the money. Money, see, was what he needed to pay off a debt to Jabba the Hutt. He arced quickly at the end of Star Wars when he came back to help Luke survive the Death Star trench - he had picked a team - so in Empire he was solidly in league with the good guys. But he still came and went as he pleased. He was there on his terms,not theirs. The only thing keeping him around, really, was Leia. (Can you blame him?)

But as soon as he could get the Falcon running well enough, he was ready to go pay off his debt. Chances are he'd never find the rebels again. They're pretty secretive about their bases. But that plan gets derailed, Han sticks around and the second Star Wars movie has its romantic lead. That said, he's still a scoundrel. He's wry and clever and sexually assertive and nothing like the regal stiffs Leia's known all her life. On paper, he's still totally wrong for her and she really digs that. Then this happens...

...blah, blah, blah...what will happen to him...blah, blah, blah...

1983 finally arrived. We'd been fed some top-notch entertainment in the intervening years, like this...

And this...

And we were happy. But, at long last, it was time for this...

Soon we would know Han Solo's fate. It wouldn't be pretty. That's where Todd's "unscoundreling" comment led us. While Solo could still claim some scoundrel street cred in Empire, once he went to his carbon-y near-grave, he would never be the same.

[SIDE NOTE: I should say here that I put a lot of stock in first impressions when it comes to movies. I think they tell you pretty clearly what the thing you're seeing is going to turn out to be. In Raiders of the Lost Ark for example, the first thing we see is a mountain and Indiana Jones rising into frame as if scaling it. The message is clear: this is a movie about a man fearlessly doing the near-impossible. In contrast, the first thing we see in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a mountain...or wait, no...a...is that...? No...! My God, it is...!

It's a molehill. (Yeah, I know, that's actually a gopher. Stay with me...) KotCS, in its opening shot, the shot that sets the tone for the whole picture, turned a mountain into a molehill. And the rest of the jeopardy-free movie followed suit. But that's another conversation.]

In Return of the Jedi, our first impression of Han Solo is that he's, well, a decoration.

And as the movie goes on, he kinda stays that way. There's a reason for that. A genuine story reason. And I assert here and now that it was a flaw in the writing.

So let's rejoin Han at the moment of his rescue. When we first met Han Solo, way back in 1977, we were given his central conflict. He owed money to Jabba the Hutt, who put a price on his head so high that every bounty hunter in the galaxy would be after him.

(Going somewhere, Solo?) Everything he did was motivated by that problem. So, once the problem is eliminated, Han Solo's central conflict is resolved.

I mean. that's fine. We all wanted that to happen. And to have the Princess slay the Dragon is pretty satisfying in mythological terms, especially after said dragon turned her into a de facto sex slave. But, Todd and I agreed, killing off Jabba in the first act of the movie resolved Han's arc far too early to keep him interesting. From that point on, he would be decoration and not much more - just another pair of Rebel boots on the ground. Not only that, they would have him do it in the most buffoonish way possible. Gone was the rogue, the pirate, the lover, the scoundrel. In his place was this conceited ape that, to be honest, probably would never have been successful in wooing a princess.

For the rest of the movie he's just gone soft.

Exhibit A: When they fly away from Tatooine, he thanks Luke for the rescue. Do you remember what he says? Review - In Empire, in the medical bay after Han rescues Luke from the sub-zero Hoth night, he rightly states, "That's two you owe me, kid." In other words, the real Han Solo keeps score. Luke owes him two. Well, in Jedi, the new kinder, gentler Solo thanks Luke and says, "Now I owe you one." Um...maybe he still had hibernation sickness, because the Han I remember would have said, "Now you only owe me one." And that would have gotten an laugh. A laugh of recognition. "There's our old pal, Han!"

Exhibit B: We never again see Solo pilot the Falcon. I mean, this guy's an amazing pilot who outran the big Corellian ships, not the local bulk cruisers. He successfully navigated an asteroid field, which any protocol droid can tell you only gives you chances of approximately 3,720 to 1. In Jedi, the one ship he does fly is the stolen Imperial shuttle and his one big impressive maneuver is to, "Fly casual." Yippee.

Exhibit C: On the forest moon of Endor, Han wants to charge off and take out a Speeder Bike Pilot. They team tries to check his enthusiasm, to which he replies, "Hey...it's me!" As in, "I'm Han Solo, remember? I do crazy things and take foolish risks! Woo-hoo!" It's a goofball moment that calls attention to the fact that Han thinks he actually is a goofball. But the pre-carbonite Han doesn't think he's a goofball. He knows he's bad-ass. Wouldn't it have been cooler for him to say in all sincerity, "Hey. It's me." In other words, "I'm back to normal now. The hibernation sickness has passed. I can and will handle this. Now get out of my way."

Exhibit D: He steps on a branch. Eh. Okay, I guess it could happen. But it's entirely a by-product of the goofball moment that came before. If instead he were the old, cool Solo, he'd have done something far smarter that wouldn't have put him in danger of snapping a twig underfoot in the first place.

We could go on, of course. ("Could you tell Luke, is that who you could tell?") But exhibits A through D make the point. Without a price on his head, Solo has lost his edge. When you discuss Return of the Jedi in terms of that, it quickly becomes clear what you need to do. You need to re-imagine Return of the the Jedi with a stronger Solo subplot. So, here goes.

RETURN OF THE JEDI: RE-IMAGINED

I'm sure you remember how, back in 1980, Lando Calrissian inspected the carbon-frozen Han and surreptitiously turned a couple of dials on the side of the casing before announcing, "He's alive...and in perfect hibernation."

Yeah, see, I always wondered what that sneaky-secret dial-turning was all about. And it came up again with my college pal, James Kirby. Kirby said that Han Solo never should have arrived on Tatooine frozen. His theory was that Jedi should have/could have begun with the crawl, then a pan to space with the Slave I closing in on the desert planet. Fett's in the cockpit, counting his chickens, tasting the money he's about to collect. But back in the cargo hold, the carbon thaws, just as Lando hoped it would when he turned those dials. Han melts out of the stuff, sneaks up on Fett in the cockpit and a fistfight ensues. How cool is that idea? That's our Han Solo, right? I always loved Kirby's idea, so let's start with it. I mean. who wouldn't want to see Boba Fett fight in earnest?

Now, Boba Fett is armed to the teeth and, heck, that ship is his home turf, so it's not hard to imagine he'd win that fight and subdue Solo, delivering him to Jabba the Hutt. But right away we're on a stronger footing with Han. Luke and Leia would still organize their rescue. Most of it could play out the same way, but what if instead of bikini-clad Leia killing Jabba and Boba Fett falling limply into the maw of the almighty Sarlaac, our heroes all just managed to escape by the skin of their teeth? Jabba would be outraged, Fett would be in hock to the Hutt and the tension that's been driving Han Solo since the first time we met him in the Star Wars cantina scene would not only still be alive, it would be escalated.

(SIDE NOTE: Boba Fett did fall into the Sarlaac Pit. That's canon. Now they're talking about stand-alone, offshoot Star Wars movies and one of them could be about Fett. If I were making it, I'd start it in darkness, with heavy breathing. The sounds of the end of a battle come from above, screams and suffering from below. Then there would be a spark of light and we'd see that Boba Fett is in the Sarlaac's esophagus, straining to reach his flame thrower. He ignites it and the walls around him burn to a crisp. Cut to the surface. Jabba's sail barge explodes, our heroes fly away to safety. Then, in the aftermath, burning rubble littering the ground, a gray-gloved hand bursts out of the sand as Boba Fett claws his way to freedom. He looks at the mess around him, sees a sandstorm off in the distance heading his way, then turns and walks off to his waiting ship. But that's just me having fun. Nobody's really asking my opinion on this one.)

Back to Jedi. Han and the gang escape a very-much-still-living Jabba and Boba Fett. But they have a moment to unwind aboard the Falcon. Han, still being Han, would know Leia loves him and might be wrestling with whether he wants to give in to his feelings for her. It's complicated. She's not the easy conquests he's been used to. So maybe he plays it cool for a while, risking losing her. She's not going to put up with that for very long. They can't hang around in Tatooine's system, unless they want to end up in a shootout with the Boba Fett, so Han insists on a Rebels v. Empire update and a set of coordinates. Leia begrudgingly supplies the destination and they set a course for the gathering of Rebel ships near Sullust. As Leia storms off, Lando and Chewie give Han some smack for acting like a jerk to this really amazing woman. (Friends of me in my 20s may recognize this little turn, as I'm raiding it from my own life story. Indulge me. It's human and it would work here.)

Luke returns to Yoda and...you know, for the most part, his story plays out the way we've seen it. That's the strongest part of Jedi as far as I'm concerned. I'm really just focusing on Han's arc here...

On the Rebel command frigate, Leia corners Han. He's not acting like himself. Or rather, he's acting too much like himself-before-they-kissed. Did their moments mean nothing? This would give them an opportunity to banter the way they did in Empire. Getting nowhere, Leia leaves him with an ultimatum of sorts: own up to how he feels or move on, but don't keep stringing her along.

So, Luke meets up with the fleet in the war room and it's on. Just like in the existing, canonical version of the story, we learn of the shield generator on the forest moon, that the Emperor himself is on Death Star II and that, yeah-yeah, many Bothans died to bring us this information, blah, blah, blah...

Han, Luke, Leia, etc. pilot the shuttle Tydirium past security and land on the forest moon...Han wants to charge in and beat up the guards, but Leia stops him.

HAN: (with conviction) Hey. It's me. [See above.]

Speeder bikes...Separation...Meet the Ewoks...Become a part of the tribe (probably in a much more efficient way to make room for the more relevant character scenes I described above)...And, finally, they gear up for a ground assault on the shield generator. Luke surrenders to Vader and heads into his own personal battle.

Up in space, Lando pilots the Falcon into the trap. Han has to get that generator blown. And HERE, my friends, is where Han's arc should finally pay off. With the help of the Ewoks, they get themselves to the jaws of victory. THAT'S when Boba Fett and Jabba finally catch up to them. Now, wait...hear me out.

Imagine Boba Fett waging a one-on-one war with Solo in the freakin' forest. If things went the way we're re-imagining, we'd get to see Boba Fett use all those little attachments and gizmos on his armor in his ship, in the desert and in the freakin' forest. But this time Han is the one who wins. Why? Because Han Solo is a smart, ruthless badass. Han fights dirty because when a bounty hunter is in his face, he doesn't wait around to get shot at. Now, I still think one of the cool things about Jedi as it exists is that Leia kills Jabba. Again, as Todd put it, "The princess slays the dragon." So she could - and damn well should - still do that. So Han defeats Boba Fett with his last ounce of fight. He's victorious, but spent. Then Jabba gets drop on him, gives him a speech about how Han's the best, he's proven it, but, in the end, Jabba can't just let him walk away or else anyone who ever owed him a debt would feel they could do the same. Classic Al Capone stuff, right? So Jabba produces a weapon, (a tiny, but lethal one that will fit in his little lizard hand), and is ready to kill Han. And at the last possible second, Leia shows up and takes out Jabba. Only she's wearing forest combat gear in stead of a gold bikini. Gives her some dignity.

Imagine then, after all the dodging and denying and acting like a jerk to Leia, Han arcs. He arcs suddenly, and finally comes around. Imagine how different these lines would sound:

HAN: I love you.

LEIA: I know.

Maybe Han steps in for a kiss and she blows him off.

LEIA: Now let's blow this thing and go home.

And the rest of the movie plays out as we remember (with the exception of the whole "You love him, don't you?" "I understand. When he come back, I won't get in the way." We'd come up with a better way to tell Han that Luke and Leia are siblings.)

So that's about it. Essentially the same movie, only better because Han Solo is Han Solo again. I'm sure there are a million great "Yes, ands..." that could make this idea even better, and I welcome positive discussion, of course. But it always amazes me what the musings of two grown-up geeks can conjure in very little time. I had fun. I hope you did, too. I'll sign off now with a vague plan in place to sit impatiently in my living room counting down the days (for exactly one year!) until The Force Awakens comes out.

May the Force Be With You... Always.

OO

The Empire Strikes Back & The Open-Ended Question

We think we solved the problem with Return of the Jedi!

Wait, go back. It started with this article, sent to me by my lifelong pal, Todd Stashwick, not about Jedi, but about The Empire Strikes Back. You can skim it and get the idea. But it's short enough that you might as well just read it.

http://www.blastr.com/2013-8-22/why-whedon-thinks-empire-strikes-back-was-betrayal-trust

So, here's the thing about it. Joss Whedon is wrong. Yes, I know, when it comes to matters of opinion on movies, nobody is wrong. I still believe that and I hope you do, too. But on this point, I'm saying Joss Whedon is wrong because a) nothing I say can really hurt Joss Whedon and b) it's a pretty decent launching pad for this blog post. Let's begin at the ending in question, shall we?

Beautiful, isn't it? Our friends from two whole movies, having taken it on the chin from the worst kind of galactic thugs, have just lost their other friend and are sending his pal and a guy they barely trust to get him back. But they're all still alive and able to fight another day. Just beautiful.

See, Mr. Whedon, who is right to feel however he feels - let me reiterate that position - says this movie committed "the cardinal sin" by leaving us with a cliffhanger. "I go to the movies expecting to have the whole experience," he explains. "If I want a movie that doesn't end, I'll go to a French movie. That's a betrayal of trust to me. A movie has to be complete within itself, it can't just build off the first one or play variations." While I don't knock him for holding that view, I can (and will) argue that he's off the mark in saying that The Empire Strikes Back fails to give audiences the complete experience. It delivers exactly what was promised: the Empire, striking back.

Let's review:

After their victory at the Battle of Yavin, the Rebels are hiding out on Hoth. (It is a dark time for them, we've just been told in the crawl.) Pissed off about losing their ultimate weapon, the Empire is hunting them down like dogs. They find them on the ice planet and try to shut them down.

Our heroes narrowly escape, but are separated from each other. Han, Leia, Chewbacca and C3PO get tossed around in an asteroid field, have no hyperdrive to get them anywhere really safe and finally find a place to duck and cover long enough to get the Falcon working again...Cloud City.

But, see, Boba Fett follows them there, alerts the hyperdrive-enabled Empire, who can show up early and set a trap. They will imprison and torture Han, Leia & company to force Luke out of wherever he's hiding. (This sucks extra hard for Han and Leia who were finally able to admit that they're falling in love.) Anyway, what the Empire doesn't know is that Luke is in training, getting stronger, learning to control of his abilities. The bait still works, but now Vader will be facing a more formidable adversary than he planned on facing. Nevertheless, Luke falls for the ruse 100%. By the time he gets to Cloud City, bad business has gone down.

Yes, old Han Solo's been frozen in carbonite (mmm...carbonite...bet it tastes like ice cream...metallic ice cream...). C3PO has been dismembered. Leia and Chewie are headed for Imperial detention cells. None of this is good for our guys, but all of it is for the baddies.

Luke confronts Vader, they fight. Lando pulls a switcheroo and gets Leia and Chewbacca freed from their prison march. There's still a chance to save Han, if they can get to Boba Fett's landing platform before he takes off. No dice, though. Fett is off with frozen Solo in his cargo hold. Meanwhile, Luke's still fighting Vader. And guess how THAT turns out?

Uh-oh...

Uh-oh...!

UH-OH!!!

The New Hope from the first flick, the one who went from anonymous farm boy to Rebel Commander and war hero, is so lost now that he resorts to this:

I'd say the Empire, as promised from the beginning, struck the heck back, wouldn't you? So, you see, that story arc - that central plot - is 100% complete by the end of the film.

Q: The Empire wants to strike back...will they succeed?

A: Darn right they succeeded.

What's left hanging are the subplots. Luke has new information, what's he going to do with it? Han is on his way to Jabba the Hutt, how can his friends (and his new lover) save him? Yoda even cryptically mentioned that Luke wasn't the last hope to vanquish the Empire, what's that about?!

You'll find out in 1983. And it seems like that's Whedon's main beef. Why didn't they resolve all the subplots? This position seems surprisingly unimaginative from someone with the astonishingly wonderful imagination of a Joss Whedon. See, when Star Wars hit theaters in 1977, the very first shot changed movies forever.

And I'm telling you, for those who weren't around yet to watch it happen in real time, the closing shot of Empire changed movies forever again. It was the closing shot of Empire that told us Lucas was playing a long game. It was that closing shot that caught us by surprise and said, "Oh, you thought we were finished? Guess what, kids, there's a whole new way of making movies. We're changing the model right before your very eyes." I loved that ending. I loved that they were doing that to movies. I found the whole thing thrilling beyond belief. I felt like I had a complete experience and then, I felt the joy of knowing I would spend the next three years ruminating, speculating, inventing, hoping and just plain wishing about what would happen next. I felt awash in the promise and possibilities. I can't be the only one who felt that way, can I? I mean, I knew I'd be seeing this installment at least a half a dozen times before then anyway. For kids of my generation, this shot...

...and the ones I posted throughout this blog, are what took Star Wars from the greatest sic-fi fantasy we'd ever seen to an obsession that would last for over 30 years. It said, "there's more. "There's always more. Just you wait."

UP NEXT...RE-IMAGINING RETURN OF THE "JEDI"